As parents we spend a lot of time in the car. We drive our kids to school or to practice, to martial arts or band practice. We drive them to their extracurricular activities that happen evenings or on weekends. We find ourselves waiting for them with all of these short spans of time that can feel like wasted moments.
It is a known fact that it is important to take care of ourselves in order to be a caregiver for others. Self-care is a message that is spattered across the internet and social media. There are many books on the topic and we might feel like it is one more thing that we are supposed to do.
Sure, we want to spend a day window shopping, taking a long walk or sitting by the lake reading a book. But who has the time for that?
How do we find time for self-care when we are busy being a caregiver: working, shopping, making meals, communicating with teachers, doctors, therapists, reading emails, and being a chauffeur both transporting our kids or other family members to where they need to be and also waiting for them to finish or waiting for the appointment to begin?
Over the years, I have found ways to have time for myself for a few hours or evening. Yet, the times when I need self-care the most are often when I am sitting in the car. I might be in a hurry to get somewhere on time and I get stopped by every red light. I still need to remind myself to use those moments to take a few slow deep breaths or to tap below my collar bone or even close my eyes for even 5 seconds. If you close your eyes at a light, someone will honk their horn when its time to go!
Then there are the times when you have to leave home in a rush, maybe even for an emergency. I have become efficient at grabbing my bag of things on short notice; water bottle, lap top, phone charger, crochet bag, journal. I may not even use anything other than my phone charger but I have those other items just in case. I tell my kids when packing, better to have it and not need it than wish you did.
The times when I have taken a few minutes despite the business have often been the most refreshing. Maybe I pull out my yarn bag while waiting for my daughter to finish at Robotics or listening to music or a podcast standing in line. Maybe I am sitting with my child in a waiting room and instead of scrolling through email, I can engage with my child and pay attention to what they are doing for a moment of connection and I can close my eyes for a minute and tune into a sound that I hear or focus on a picture across the room.
I have been in a surgical waiting room doing yoga stretches and have also taken time to walk around the hospital while my family member was inside. If I am not wearing my walking shoes, I almost always have them in the car. Having that phone to update family and friends is important and also to use as a tool for stress relief. Earbuds are a must. Tuning into favorite music can really help tune out the noise and outside stressors. Sometimes playing a game on my phone can be a refocusing moment or a chance to step away from the stress at hand.
If you know ahead of time that you will be waiting for an hour or more, can you schedule a massage or manicure? Or is there a park where you can go walk or even just sit. Can you bring your dog with you for companionship? You could take an adventure into a store you have never been to before especially one with pretty things or maybe somewhere you love to shop but going with the intention of just looking. Can you plan to talk to a friend and maybe even video chat so you can have face to face interaction?
I invite you today, to think of things that you love to do that can be done in small moments of time. What are the tools you. use to destress? Maybe its time to add some to your took kit. Learn EFT tapping or new breathing techniques. Bring your journal with you or get a small notebook that is easy to carry everywhere you go. Be sure to have a pen too! You could keep some of these items in the car. And be sure to remember a bottle of water and a snack. A hangry parent is not a patient parent, or is that just me?
Be sure to tune in each Tuesday for quick parenting/ caregiving tips!
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